Tuesday, August 5, 2008

The Fork in the Road!

Many of you will have much more life experience in this area than myself but my husband and I, well actually our family have come to a fork in the road of life. This is not a small fork or a planned fork and yet here we stand wondering what the crap to do with the fork! Let me preface this a bit by saying I am a lover of all things consistent, I like to know that Wednesday will always be after Tuesday and that the Sun will rise in the East and set in the West. I prefer the comfort of my everyday life to that of a bouncy Tigger jumping from one adventure to the next. I am as safe as the padded room I once lived in (no really, my bedroom as a child was padded, long story, save that for later) I am very happy knowing that tomorrow we will wake up and I will take Alexis to school and then go about the laundry and dishes and playing with my adorable son and making every attempt to keep Grace contained. So that is me, I do like an occasional spicy meal and I enjoy a soda with my pizza sometimes but c'mon now, those bubbles are a doozy goin down the old wind pipe!

So you get the point, I am boring as all getup, but here I am nearly 30 and I find myself wanting to do something new and different. I want to meet new people (nothing wrong with the old), I want to smell new air and get lost going to the grocery store (ok that was so random). Let me get to it, Jimmy and I have thrown the idea of moving out of Vegas for quite sometime but never had the reason or fire under us to get up and go. I have watched comfy as a cat in the window as my sisters have moved to places like Florida, Utah, Texas and Colorado (this is just one of them) and Arizona while I have remained in the safe nestles of "HOME" for almost 24 years.

Anyway, a few months ago Jimmy and I began talking about him submitting his resume to companies in other states just to see what would happen, he also began doing some looking into possibly going back to school. Well when his job recently slowed down and they cut his pay the "just for fun" idea of moving became "What the heck are we gonna do?" We have been praying and reading our scriptures and doing all that we can do so that when the answer comes we will be able to be, do or go where ever the Lord wants us to go. Well today I received a phone call from a possible renter of our Condo and Jimmy has made the decision that Nursing School is calling him. So the Fork is before us and I was talking to a very wise women this morning, whom I happen to call by the name of Mom and she pointed out to me that had my parents not made the tough choice to move to Las Vegas years ago none of us sisters would have the husbands we have, nor the friends or the blessings that came with it. It was not easy to come to Vegas but it was the right thing to do and had they not my life would have been very very different! Now Jimmy and I are at, what I believe to be a very similar place in our lives, somehow the choices we make in the next few months will trickle through the years to come for us and our children, talk about pressure! We want to do the RIGHT thing and yet we know that the "Right" thing might not be easy or fun but thus is life.

Our choice lies in staying here and following a path that keeps us close to my parents or moving to be closer to his family and walking a brand new unpaved road, but it might lead to a fabulous development!

So my plea to all of you, blog stalkers and all, oh yes you, I want to hear your stories of how you made choices and how you knew it was right or wrong. I want to hear the choices that led to amazing adventures or perhaps difficult times and yet they were the right choices to be made. I want to know that I am not alone, I want to hear about your Fork or Forks in your road! C'mon don't be shy!

for any news to follow!

Oh and one last thing I am coming up on my 100th post and I am gonna do something fun so check back for upcoming details!


Tom & Rachel said...

That is so exciting! I personally think the idea of up and going is exciting and adventurous! I don't have any huge personal stories of big life changes, but I can tell you that we don't have a single connection to Colorado but we have loved it. And I don't necessarily mean Colorado itself, but just being out on our own. Tom and I both agree that it's been really good for our relationship and for our little family. We really wouldn't trade these last 4 years here. I still get excited about possibilities to up and move again. Sorry I don't have any super inspiring stories, but I totally think you should go for the spontaneous life change. I will be excited to hear what you guys choose. (I randomly can't sleep in the middle of the night so I hope this comment is coherent.)

Rob and Michelle said...

Well, (sorry I know this is LONG) when Rob made the decision to get out of the Army I was simultaneously terrified (I mean we had 4 kids at the time and no job offers anywhere) and I was also ecstatic since that meant NO MORE DEPLOYMENTS! 7 in 8 years was enough. I always thought we might move back home to Vegas. We were praying and fasting, etc and I was getting NO answer and Rob's was -NO to Vegas and YES to all the way across the country to Wilmington, NC where his Dad lived and where honestly we loved but it was 2400 miles from home...and seemed permanent. The closer it got to move time the more panicked I got because STILL I was getting NO answers to my prayers and Rob was so confidant. Finally in talking to a dear friend she told me that perhaps the Lord was trying to get me to learn to trust the Priesthood holder in my home. That and a certain sentence in his patriarchal blessing and I started to listen to his idea. But I was also like "but this is such a BIG decision, couldn't I learn to trust him on something SMALL!?"
Anyway, I trusted him, we moved to Wilmington and I loved it! It was the right place to go. He immediately got into the Police Academy there and we loved the ward and had a lot of support and even had family come visit us regularly (that's saying a lot for my family). Rob graduated and got a job with the Sheriff's department and we started looking to buy a house.
THEN about a year after we got there, I came home for my brother's mission farewell. People were asking me if we were ever going to move back and I was saying and feeling "NO WAY". It was an incredibly spiritual visit, I was 2 months pregnant with Gabby and had had a miscarriage 8 months earlier and while I was home almost lost her and was able to receive a special blessing which started a few months of intense, let's say, spiritual eye opening.
I went back to North Carolina and started having experiences that had me thinking we needed to move back to Vegas. I kept thinking...dirty, gang infested, tagged, yucky billboard Vegas??? Are you for real??? We live in a pristine community 3 miles from the Atlantic in an amazing ward...why would/should we go back to Vegas.
Then we went to two temple dedications being broadcast by satellite and I'm telling you, not once but twice the Las Vegas NV Temple was shown in the videos before the dedication starts. I didn't see ANY other temple shown twice. AND...when the Vegas Temple showed up the very first time, it was at the part in "Come, Come Ye Saints" where it says..."We'll find the place which God for us prepared, far away, in the West." HELLO!!! And to add to that, because my big fear was...here I am pregnant, I will be making him quit his job that he loves and start all over, what will we do if we move now? But the feeling that we needed to move back was so intense. We made the decision in two weeks. Three months after my brother's farewell, we were home. It was rocky, full of challenges and terrifying BUT definitely where Heavenly Father wanted us.
We have moved a lot in our marriage and every time we go somewhere new I ponder the reason we are at the place we are. Every time I have received an answer. It's pretty amazing.
Also pretty amazing and the full circle to why we couldn't come home when I wanted to...NONE of the Police Departments here in town were hiring for awhile. If they did hire, they only took laterals, in other words, you had to have your post certification already and have worked for another agency in order to get a job here. Well, it appeaars that Wilmington, NC was on our way home since he was able to get hired fairly quickly as a lateral and get the perfect job for us.
Two bits of advice and then I'll stop typing...1)This is a big deal so Heavenly Father is -of course- NOT going to leave you alone in the decision and 2)You can always come back home after you've learned the lessons you needed to learn while you were away.

Kellie and Stephen said...

Your fork in the road is exactly where my family is at right now in life! I would love to leave Vegas, except for the fact that like you I am very close to my parents and would miss them terribly! So, we'll see what happens... until then I have no life-altering change stories to tell. Except leaving for college I have been here for forever.

Kasey Eyre said...

When I was the YW president I had a girl whose parents were not sealed in the temple. She had told me once that she did not want to get sealed in the temple because she didn't want to be sealed to her husband and not her parents. I told her about the scripture that said a man needed to cleave unto his wife and I explained to her that when she got married she needed to make her husband her family. She could still love her parents and they would still be a big part of her life, but once she got married she started a new family, her own family. I don't know if that helps any, but it is what came to me just now. I also think that sometimes where we're faced with a choice and either thing we choose would be a good thing, the Lord kind of leaves it up to us to decide. I think in your case if you make a choice and it turns out to be the wrong one He'll let you know, but if it's right then things will fall into place and He'll make it easier to do the things you want. I'll miss you if you leave, but then we will have an excuse to come to Colorado and visit. Dave said that was one of his favorite places to live and his brother is there now and loves it.

John and Marissa said...

I don't really have a "Fork in the Road" story to tell...just a plea. DON'T DO IT! DON'T LEAVE ME!! ;) Just kidding...I GUESS you have to follow the Lord's plan for you...

Hill Family said...

I think I could have written this post for you! Let me know if you figure it all out, so that I can too! :)

The Black's said...

My name is Michelle "Dempster" Black I went to school with you at Chap and found your blog awhile ago from another blog, I hope you don't mind me stalking. Anyways I have had many forks in the road. The first came when I graduated from high school, I chose to go to Utah, had I not I would not have met my husband. The next one came a year or so after we got married. My husband got a job offer in San Francisco and I had to leave my last semester at BYU to go. If we had not taken my husband would not have gotten in to the BYU MBA program a few years later(which at the time we were not planning). That takes me to another fork in the road which came a few years after we were living in California and had one child and loving it. One day my husbands says he wants to apply for the MBA program. He thought it was a shot in the dark but he decided to try. Well he got in and sure enough we were packing up and moving back to Provo. He finished the MBA program and was looking for jobs and having a tough go at it. I had just had my second child and was getting pretty nervous. One of the last major companies to recruit to BYU was Ford Motor Co. My husband got a fly back and was really excited. He didn't get the job and was pretty devastated. He was only 1 of 10 from BYU that didn't get an offer. Talk about devastation. But boy do I thank my Heavenly Father every day that we did not get Ford. Look at where that company is today. It was definately a blessing in disguise. But at the time I thought I was going to have a nervous break down. My husband ended up getting a job here in Utah were we are today and making more then he would have if we would have stayed in California or gone with Ford. It is amazing to me that when we come across a fork in the road of life and we may not know what is to come and things may not go as we had hoped our Heavenly Father still has a plan. Looking back at all my forks and all the worries that came with them, I am able to see they were all for a purpose and they made me a stronger person and made me realize they were the plan of my Heavenly Father.

Cynthia said...

I don't really have a fork story, I just wanted to say good luck with your decisions!

Jessi McCall said...

ahhh..well, you're not the only one who hears "30" knocking at the door!! My husband and I have just both committed to me quiting work, doing a short sale on our house, downsizing, all so that I can go back and finish school. I have felt a little pressure too lately on whether or not this is the "right" thing to do. Giving up my home that I've worked so hard on is a tough decision. BUT, my inspiration came from my friend Sharon Moore, a professor who quit her job to move back to Chicago to write a book. I blogged about it, read it, and maybe her story will inspire you, as it most certainly did me.

Rob and Michelle said...

I know...I barely even run into you at church. And it's too hot for lunch at the park right now...those were fun.

Liz - Jess said...

I am sure we all come across a fork in the road on a daily basis without realizing how the decision will effect us later. All I can say is that you are going about your fork the right way. This one is a big one but as long as you KNOW you are taking the right path ahead of time, it WILL make all the hardness of the situation a little easier to handle. On that note, I think moving away from Vegas would be an amazing experience and I can't help wishing the opportunity the willing come knocking on my door one day.