Wednesday, June 15, 2011


My house is utter chaos right now, there are boxes in every room, in the hallways and filling the garage. Dinner has been provided by McDonald's, Chick-fil-A, Digiorno and General Mills for this week, although I did make homemade salsa last night. Lexi is off to Girls Camp for the week so Grace is the "Helper" while I pack, call to cancel milk delivery (very sad about that) and finish editing pictures from recent sessions, she is doing quite well with the exception of locking her brother in a room so he couldn't run off while she was "watching a show".....hmmm perhaps she is onto something.

I have been an emotional wreck, but I hold the tears for sad songs, commercials, television shows, taking down pictures, or when I stub my toe on the stupid chair for the 10th time..... It's also easier to cry when no one is looking so I don't have to answer questions about why I am crying. Moving again after only 2 years in Colorado has been a tough and because we have known for a while it's been a slow unravelling of denial. It just felt like we would have so much time to spend with friends and family, then I became SO sick with this pregnancy ( now18.5 weeks or 4.5 months) that 3 and half months went by where I saw no one, did nothing and now it's time to move. We leave in less than 2 weeks and all of my minutes seem to be taken up by packing, thinking about packing or discussing packing. Because this is a rental, the management company has been here quite regularly showing the house to possibles, so we take breaks to move the boxes and then just stare at them as they find their way through the labyrinth...good times.

On the upside we know where we will live once we get to Utah, so that is a good thing and we are excited about the house. We will have lots more space and the neighborhood seems quiet and filled with young families. The bonus is that I already have a few friends that live in the area and Jimmy and I both have family around, which makes it easier.

My heart aches a bit to leave all of the AMAZING friends I have in Colorado, I will miss book club, girls nights, birthday celebrations, play dates at the park and Monday, Wednesday Friday at the gym! These women welcomed me so completely when we got here and it just feels I haven't had enough time with them, they have stamped my heart and life with their service, love and laughter. I wish I could just put them all in my pocket and take them with me but I hope to get to come back for visits.

Moving brings out all my insecurities. Will I make friends? Will my kids make friends? Will they like their new schools? How long will I have to use GPS and google maps to get around? Will people like me even if I don't have blonde hair and a Bump-it??? Will I learn the language??? Huge questions that you just don't know answers to until you get there.

Even though I KNOW this is the right thing for our family, it's still hard....well these boxes won't fill themselves.