Wednesday, December 9, 2009

"New.........Old Moon"

I know that it has been a few weeks since the "Blockbuster" release of "New Moon", but since life has gotten a wee bit busy as of late I am just now getting to this post. I am not your "traditional" Twilight fanatic, I am, well how do I say this, I have never read the books and when I saw New Moon I had only seen moments of Twilight. I think in many ways this made me the perfect candidate for the unbiased perspective!

My Blog, My Perspective

As a whole the movie was not bad, it wasn't the best one I had seen but I really had no complaints, but mostly due to a character by the name of Jacob!! Yowza!! (call me a cougar if you must)

A short Synopsis of each character

Oh Edward, you skinny, pasty, sparkly, scary vampire? Why so serious? You really were so much better when you were alive and your name was Cedric Diggory. Your hair was neat and your skin was warm to the touch, you interacted with your peers and your skin didn't sparkle. It was unfortunate that your death was at the hands of Lord Voldemort, but turning to sparkly Vampires for eternal life is a little desperate don't you think? Quit playing hard to get like you are still in High School, I mean I know you are, but not for the first time by any means, so pull it together man!! Your weak attempts to deter Bella are just uneducated, don't you know that if you are nice to her she will leave you alone!! Sheesh man!!

Where to begin? Bella, you are what I refer to as a "Manipulative Damsel in Distress". You are the kind of girl that manipulates men/boys by using your depressed, melancholy ways to make them think you are mysterious and interesting. You change to be whomever you are with, I mean would you have honestly said you wanted to be a Vampire your entire life and finally your dreams came true when you met Ed? I don't think so, I think if he had been a UFC fighter you would have decided that is always what you had wanted to be. Women/girls like you are afraid to be who they really are because for some reason they think that they won't be excepted, although if you are always that much of a downer can you blame them.?! I think your character is one dimensional and needs growth!

Perfection! OK, OK I won't just leave it at that. While it was hard at times to not picture you with a shark fin on your back, for the most part I had no problem with you. You are the "nice guy" who isn't appreciated by the over hyped, dark and dreary girl you dig. That is why you should find yourself a nice girl who likes good guys, and while I am spoken for I have a younger sister that is closer to your age and when she brings you around just remind me now and again to wipe the drool off my chin!

Dr. Carlisle Cullen,
It is finally your moment in the Sun, or I mean clouds, since the Sun makes you sparkle! For so long you have only been known for marrying Kelly Taylor, or I mean Jennie Garth, that you have been overlooked. Well not anymore, you are the "Making a name for yourself" kinda guy, you are "bringing home the bacon" the "bread winner" and "wearing the pants", good for you! I actually enjoy your character, other than your paleness, you are handsome and soft spoken. You give a much better name to Vampires, other than the fact that you sparkle. You try not to kill people, unless it is James, who was my favorite by the way, but I guess since he was not really human than it doesn't really count, so all is forgiven.

Final Word

Since recently seeing the first movie, I am glad that they decided to spend more than 10 dollars on the production of New Moon! It made it much more enjoyable. While in many respects watching the movies has made me want to read the books less, it isn't for the reasons some might think. It's not because the movies were soooo bad that I refuse to read them, but more because it reminds me too much of parts of High School. I dated a vampire of sorts in a previous life and I have no desire to revisit that, thank you very much!

Oh and if for no other reason than the Pre-Party I will be going to see the next one as well!! Thanks Kari and ladies for making it such a fun night!!! I am a bit bummed that I didn't get a group shot of everyone, but I was too distracted by the food!!

The "Formal" cutting of the cake!!

mmmm, so yummy and Zebra striped!

Kelli how do you manage to have food in your mouth EVERYTIME!! LOL!!

Kari you really just went BEYOND!!! You Rock!! Thanks for doing all this for us to enjoy!!

Seriously glad you and I have become friends Miss Kari!!!


Heather B said...

Wow! Great party! Great review on the movies too. And HELLO, HOT picture of Jacob, I hadn't seen that (wiping off drool.)

Kari Clark said...

You are hilarious! Loved the commentary on the movie, reminds me of how rediculous the story really is - though I still LOVE it! Great pictures, thanks for posting them!

GHFamily said...

You crack me up.. Here's my 2cents worth

Edward: 2 things: ever heard of wax, and please start doing push-ups.

Bella: Quit whimpering. It gets on my nerves.

Jacob: thank you for going to the gym.

Rob and Michelle said...

Please tell me you have seen the SNL skit "Lab partners" with Taylor Lautner. Oh. My. Goodness. If you haven't seen it, google it!

"Edward is a boy!"

"Then why does he sparkle like a princess' tiara?!"