Photography Time

Flashback Friday! The Power of One!!

(Me at 18)

Oprah has her talk show.

Michael Jordan, the basketball court.

Julia Roberts, the movie screen.

Amelia Earhart, the sky.

Marylin, the WCW Wrestling Event.

I was just a white girl with a dream really, and never in my wildest imagination thought I could reach it so young at just 18 years old. Don't ask how or why, but I attended many Professional Wrestling events in my day, and there was one that will forever stand out in my mind. It was shortly after graduating High School in 1997 watching two grown men in spanks, bounce off ropes and tackle each other when the match took a turn for the desperate and I suddenly shouted "Bite His Ear!", it was just weeks after the Tyson vs. Holyfield fight and the words slipped easily from my lips. The people around me chuckled and then as if I were the director standing before them they all began shouting "Bite his ear, Bite his ear!" It grew and grew and next thing you know the entire MGM Grand arena was shouting "Bite his Ear!!" It was a moment that only happens in movies, it was then I knew I was meant for greater things! The people in front and behind me were throwin me high fives for my addition to the match, the wrestlers were forced to acknowledge the crowd, I don't remember what was said, but I remember the pride in knowing I had the Power to influence those around me with my words!!

I realize that this all must seem silly, but you found yourself reading every word didn't you??? Hey and I still know some moves, so don't mess!!!




P.S I have some great news on the "Saga of the Bully" so stay tuned!! :)

Love to you and Happy Friday!!

Identity Crisis

One would think that at 31 I would know who I am, but alas, I still wobble a bit now and then. So I have once again changed the name of my blog, I was gonna actually name it this a while ago but then I watched a show and thought I would try to be philosophical and deep and named it "roots", but all I kept thinking of was the fact that my hair needed to be colored, so I followed my initial thought and went back to "Losing my marbles". I frequently use that term and it also reminds me of Toodles from the movie HOOK, so there you go!!

BubbleGum, BubbleGum In A Dish, How Many Pieces do You Wish

I am a crazy dreamer! I have very vivid and bizarre dreams on a nightly basis, they tend to keep me asleep because they feel so real! Last night I dreamt that I had tons and tons of pink bubblegum in my mouth and no matter how many times I tried to spit it out there would be another wad in my mouth! I kept pulling and pulling but it was stuck to my teeth, people were talking to me and I was just standing there pulling gum out of my mouth! It got really annoying and finally I woke up and realized I was wearing my retainer!! Haa haa haa

Sunday Scripture; Prayer

I have such a testimony of the power of prayer in my own life. It has strengthened my relationship with my Heavenly Father, it is how I can communicate with Him and let him know of my gratitude. It is also how I am able to talk with him and let him know of my concerns, as He is All Knowing I realize that He knows what our concerns are before we tell Him, but He would so much rather hear from us. As any would Father, He wants to be in communication with His children, it makes the distance between us feel small.

I would like to share a personal experience and testimony building moment with prayer that I had some years ago.

January 20, 2005 I entered a hospital E.R via ambulance at around 2:30am after suffering excruciating pain in my abdominal area. They ran many tests on me and pumped me with Morphine to ease the pain and then informed me that I was going in for emergency surgery because my appendix had burst! They performed the life saving surgery, and after, told me I was lucky to be alive because the infection was throughout my entire body and that it had probably burst 3 to 4 days before I had any pain (which I guess is really unusual). Well due to the wide spread of infection my stay in the hospital would be prolonged, included in my stay was a catheter and a tube that went up my nose and into my stomach to aid in pumping the nasty stuff out!!

Well on the night of my 4 day in the hospital my nurse removed my i.v because the spot it was in was getting old and she wanted to move it to a new location on my other arm. Now keep in mind I had been unable to eat anything but broth and ice chips at this point so I was EXTREMELY weak and dehydrated! Well as she poked me once, twice, three and then four times she wasn't able to get the iv back in, (which is very bad when you are depending on it to give you all the medication and vitamins). Well she gave up and called in another nurse who tried multiple times and was unsuccessful and then a third nurse before calling in a lab tech who was "Very good", they began discussing that they would have to put it in my forehead if she was not able to get the iv in! Well by this point I had tears running down my face I was extremely scared and alone, since it was very late at night and my husband and mother had gone home. The idea of having it in my forehead was not pleasant and so as I heard them say "Ok we will try one more time, but after this...." I closed my eyes and prayed harder than I ever remember NEEDING to pray in a VERY long time, I pleaded with my Heavenly Father to be with me and to enable them to get the iv started in my arm and as I opened my eyes I saw the relief on the faces standing over me and felt the iv begin to work again.

It felt as if He had just answered the most important prayer I had ever said, I knew that He was with me, that He had guided her hand with steadiness and that I was not alone! I remained in the hospital for several more days and had many more miracles take place on my behalf during that time, but that moment when I felt His arms around me, and His comfort during and hour in which I dearly needed Him, it changed me. I was never the same after that, I was better for it, more humble, more compassionate, more open to His miracles and to His unwavering love for me. Little ole me, sick in a hospital, scared, and He was there for me!

I know that through Him all things are possible, and that He watches over us and is eager to hear from us. I know personally of His mercy and love and I am grateful for His hand in my life.

First Class: Not Just a Better Seat, but a Better Way of Life!

At the ripe old age of 31 I was able to fly First Class for the very first time! For some this is a normality, for me, well let's just say I could totally get used to it!

Alexis and I made a trip to Salt Lake City for my cousins wedding and the tickets were courtesy of a friend at Jimmy's work. He worked for United and got us great rates for "Standby" tickets and it turned out to be the best way to fly!

We took our comfy, over sized seats at the front of the plane ahead of the business class. Waiting for us was a fresh blanket and pillow, along with one flight attendant for the 6 of us in First Class and she was very attentive. We were served our drinks and snacks promptly and offered 2nds but my bird sized stomach was stuffed so I opted for my earphones and classical music while reading the New York Times instead. Once we had reached 30,000 feet I was taken on a tour of the cockpit and even offered a chance to fly the plane. Who knew that a thin curtain had been separating me from a new life all this time (ok well really I mostly have flown Southwest and they don't have First Class, but still)!! Sitting in the warm leather chair I stretched my legs out to their full 24 inches in length and took a breath of the fresh air of high class and knew this is where I belonged. It really was so nice knowing that my Coach bag was safe in the extra storage space provided and that a full day spa was available if I needed to freshen up before landing. The only difficult part was when the remarkable journey came to an end as the wheels touched down in Salt Lake City. As I exited the plane there was a little more pep in my step and a lift in my chin, I spoke in a British accent and thanked the crew for their devoted service to my safe arrival and deplaned. We had been well cared for, and my gratitude ran deep within my being, down to every fiber.






Please tell me that you picked up on my over the top description of First Class??? You know, if you start to think about it, it's kind of true how something as insignificant as a seat on an airplane is a symbol of a "better" life, as is a fancy car, a huge house, a purse or a fantastic pair of shoes! In it of it self none of those things are bad things, in fact it wouldn't bother me at all if I was forced to fly first class for the rest of my life, nor would I feel guilty, but it most definitely does not define the quality of my life now. I believe that at any income/status level there is Joy to be had, and I have for sure had my fair share. The most important lesson is to know that "happy" isn't automatically added when more "Quan" enters your bank account, you have to be happy first, then if the money, the life, the "extras" come (through hard, honest work) it's easier to see it all for what it really is, stuff. Would it be nice, I think it would be. Do I NEED it to live the rest of my life happily, NOPE!

Ask, and Ye Shall Receive!

*(deep breath and moving on from the hard and sad stuff, for now)*

For as long as I remember being able to talk, which is pretty much since my conception, I have said that I should have been born with red, *curly* hair, and a Southern accent! I dunno why I decided that would be awesome, but I did, so I wanted it, k. Well the luckiest thing happened while I was in high school my hair just started "growing"(enter sarcasm) red, it was a miracle! Sometimes it was a slightly different shade of red, but it really has been amazing ever since. Then 11 years ago my parents had a neighbor move across the street who was from the South and between her and my Grandma & Dad who were born in the South suddenly I started having people ask me where I was from! Southern words just pop out without even trying, I guess DNA even takes into account accents now, again, a miracle! This is where it just gets plain crazy, shortly after I had James I noticed that my hair was getting kinda curly, but I figured it might just be while my hormones where adjusting, well here he is almost 2 and my hair is even more curly. The best was when I recently went in for a hair cut to a new stylist and she was like "So I see you have naturally red curly hair." and I was like "Yeah, tough huh?" then we are talking for a few minutes and she says "Where are you from?" I said "Las Vegas." she says "Oh I thought you were maybe from the South." Um HELLO my dream has come true! Not only is my hair red, I talk with a Southern accent and my hair is curly!!! C'mon now ya'll, don't hate!

My Aunt Jone!

I have been blessed in my life to have lots of people who have left a large mark on my heart, but there is one that was so unique, so loving, so honest and so genuine that I often block out the fact that she is no longer here. Her spirit was so magnetic that it seems to still surround me even years after she passed away.

My Aunt Jone Novakovich was this women who smelled like sweet perfume and shampoo, she was tall and thin with a smile that lit any room and any mood! She was one of the strongest women I have ever known, she lived through 3 bouts of cancer, before succumbing to it on the 4th time around. She was vivacious and spunky, I will never forget the video she and my uncle made while she was undergoing chemotherapy for breast cancer (1st time) and she had bought all these fantastic wigs and was trying them on for the camera. One was purple and one was shiny and silver, she could make anything seem funny. Jone seemed invincible, so with each time she was diagnosed with a new cancer I guess I just thought she would always be able to overcome it, so when the news came that her body was no longer able to fight I just didn't want to believe it. This was my Aunt Jone, the one that when I was feeling awkward and hormonal at 12 could make me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world. The woman who loved her 4 black labs and her family more than life itself, there was no way that she could die.

Today is her Birthday and I miss her so much! I think of her all the time, especially when life throws a curve ball. When she was deciding the treatment to take for her Breast Cancer, she said she just wanted to "Hack it off" cause her "life was more important that her boob", she never was afraid to "cut" to the chase on anything. I like to think that's where I learned it from!


Love and Miss you Aunt Jone

The Life of a Photographers Child!!!

Since I am still trying to get it together to post our Christmas/Vegas/California trip I thought I would give you a few more pics to look at! This time the victims were my children, with only a little "gentle suggestion" they let me snap some of them in my parents backyard!

I do love these kids!

Notice the look in James eyes as he gets ready to throw a fist full of rocks at me!! :) Silly Boy!

Prepping!

So with the amount of time that has passed since I have posted about what we have been up to there is going to be tons of pictures coming very soon! So be prepared for a plethora of them cause you are gonna see enough of my family and friends to last you a life time!!

To get it started here is one of my faves from a recent family session I was able to do while in Vegas! The Waters Family more here

Some engagements for my good friend Nicky more here

And here is a picture of all the grand kids hanging out on Grandma's couch, one of the rare moments of them all just sitting!

Sunday Scripture! Maawigh, Twu Wuv!! and the Temple

Matt & Rachel (seriously awesome couple)

D&C 132:7-13

7 And verily I say unto you, that the conditions of this law are these: All covenants, contracts, bonds, obligations, oaths, vows, performances, connections, associations, or expectations, that are not made and entered into and sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise, of him who is anointed, both as well for time and for all eternity, and that too most holy, by reveltaion and commandment through the medium of mine anointed, whom I have appointed on the earth to hold this power (and I have appointed unto my servant Joseph to hold this power in the last days, and there is never but one on the earth at a time on whom this power and the keys of this priesthood are conferred), are of no efficacy, virtue, or force in and after the resurrection from the dead; for all contracts that are not made unto this end have an end when men are dead.

(click the link above to read the rest )

Today I returned from Utah, where I attended my cousin Rachel's wedding in the Salt Lake Temple. It was a beautiful sealing, my uncle Don is a sealer in the Salt Lake Temple (meaning, he is able to perform the marriage) and it was the most amazing ceremony I have witnessed. He said so many things that I had never heard before, or perhaps it was the way he said them, but I suddenly understood it all in a new way.

He spoke of the gifts that the husband and wife bring to the marriage by mere sake of their divine heritage. As the husband, holding the priesthood is a gift you bring that the wife depends on you to be worthy to hold. As the wife we are blessed with the gift of being the ones to bring children into our families. Now since we believe in eternity and that things go beyond this life and into the next as women, if we live worthily, we will be able to have children in the next life as well.

I had never really thought of it all in that way, that it is our gift to our husbands and theirs is their gift to us, to our marriage. He also spoke of how we must be giving of ourselves and that anything that we want from our marriage, we must GIVE FIRST! I love that, it is such a reminder to not be selfish, to not expect the other to read our minds, to give freely of ourselves, of forgiveness, of devotion, of kindness, and of love. If we do these things it will aid in the happiness of our marriage, we will see our spouse in the light they are intended to be seen in.

The other point that really stood out to me was the rules we set for our homes, that we must abide by them and agree upon them early on so that we can teach them to our children. It made me think of the rules we have set in our home;

• That there will be no 'R' rated movies played in our home.
• There are to be no bad or hurtful words said to one another.
  
• We will attend our Sunday meetings together
• Monday nights are family nights where we hold FHE (Family Home Evening)
• Supporting each other in our efforts, i.e. school, work, sports, church callings, creative outlets
• Keeping an orderly home, a place where the spirit can reside, where we will feel safe and comforted from the world.

These are just some of the rules that we live by in our home, we aren't perfect but they are the standards we have set and pray to live by everyday. I am grateful for my marriage, for the family we have and for the efforts we make to love one another.

This weekend gave me a renewed sense of the wife I want to be, to be encouraging and never demeaning, for us to laugh often together, to spend quality time together. I want to be the best wife that Jimmy could ever have, the best wife for him and to him, so that he is never going to be looking for an upgrade.

My Uncle Don and Rachel (her grandpa)

Sunday Scripture! Revisit with Visiting Teachers

Today was my last Sunday in Vegas before we head back over the mountains and through the woods on Tues. The lesson in relief society was on Visiting Teaching, something that I have expressed my testimony of more than once in the past.

This talk by Julie B. Beck from the Nov 2009 Ensign gives a great reminder of just how essential women in the church are. We have the ability to serve others that is special just to us, we can nurture and love in ways that is uniquely ours and was determined to be so by our Heavenly Father. Our role on this earth is to make sure it has the fluffy stuff, you know, notes in your kids lunches, kisses on owies, a shoulder to cry on when the other kids have said something mean. Of course Fathers and Men are essential as well, but as women we have a tender way about us that can not be replaced.

One of the many ways we can serve and have been asked to serve within the boundaries of the gospel is through our Visiting Teaching. This is our chance to go into the homes of the women we are assigned to visit and check in on them, befriend them, encourage them and love them. In return we will find that we are blessed in new friendships and the ability to look outside our own stresses and lift others.

Some of my most dear friends came from visiting teaching, either they were mine, I was theirs or we were partners. I am grateful for them and still maintain contact with most of them, they are women I will treasure for my entire life.

Now if I were home on my computer I could put together a collage of all the women that have made such a difference in my life through their service to me and also their willingness to have let me serve them. I am not, so I will have to do that later but perhaps just a mention of their names will help you realize these are women you might know, women with children and busy lives just like you and me, it encourages me knowing if they were able to set aside the time for V.T than I can do as long as I make it a priority. That is something I really have been trying to work on and plan for this new year to not miss a single month!! Don't hate me if I do K


Kasey Eyre (Visiting Teacher & V.T Partner)
Emylee Bierstedt (Visiting Teacher)
Judy Knittle (Visiting Teacher)
Tara Smith (Visiting Teaching Partner)
Kim Yates ( Visiting Teachee)
Karen Stevens (Visiting Teacher)
Lindsay Mann ( Visiting Teachee and V.T partner)
Deborah Parshall (Viting Teacher)
Chelsea Kovach (Visiting Teacher)
Carie Fordham (Visiting Teachee)
Abbi Salas (Visiting Teachee)
Amie Ison (V.T Partner)

These are just some of their names and I am forever grateful for them!

All my love

Sunday Scripture! A Year In Review

Matthew 22: 37-40

37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt ^alove the Lord thy God with all thy ^bheart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy ^cmind.

38 This is the first and great ^acommandment.

39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt ^alove thy neighbour as thyself.

40 On these two commandments hang all the ^alaw and the prophets.

As 2009 comes to a close I find myself reflecting on all that has come about in the last year. It has been a year of ups and downs but mostly ups. How can I complain even for a moment when all the trials that the first half of the year brought were more than made up for with the blessings that followed! Jimmy losing his job ended up being one of the best things that has happened for our family, we were fortunate to have all that time with him and then when employment found him again it took us to a place unexpected, yet exactly where we needed to be. I have found the transition to be seamless, it fits like a glove, I don't really know how else to explain it. The friends I have made in such a short time are women I have come to love and admire and pray to know them for many many years to come!

It has also allowed me to be reminded of the wonderful friends I have in Las Vegas, the ones that I talk with regularly on the phone, through emails/facebook/blogging. I am grateful for technology that allows me to keep up with all that are far from me, I miss you and feel blessed to call you friends no matter where we might end up.


I am excited for the year ahead, for what may come, for what might be and for the lessons we will undoubtedly learn. Watching my children grow faster than I could ever permit, if it were up to me, has been a true joy in my life.


-Lexi is truly blossoming into a young women, she is a loyal daughter, sister and friend. She has such a happy heart and kind spirit although we are working on establishing just who is the mother of the household!


-Grace is full of spunk, she is making that transition between little kid to "big kid" and her wit just seems to increase in the process. I love her hugs and kisses and also her ability to find her independence, she is ready to take on the world, but she also loves to cuddle with me in her "off" time.


-James is turning into the 2 year old that is learning all the naughty things possible just to make sure I stay alert! I love his mischievous grin as he does the opposite of what I say. I seem to be much more relaxed in my parenting with him and while that could result in his one day criminal record, I guess I am rolling the dice and taking my chances.


Of all the gifts that my children received from us this year the most important is that of our time. My children will only remember that when they are grown, the trips to the park when I go down the slide with them, the road trips to visit relatives, time spent baking in the kitchen with them, all of the time just holding them on my lap or rubbing their backs and singing them to sleep. That is what I want to work on this year is doing all of those things more often, I am not a perfect mom by any stretch of the imagination but I try everyday to teach them of good things and to prepare them to be productive members of society. I know that I must continue in that same vane and then more, less time worrying about my "dirty house" and more time spent with my family.





The Lord has blessed us, has blessed me and I hope all good things for all of you in the this coming year. If your family has been challenged in finding employment or if you have lost a loved one, made a big move, had a big change or all of the above know that my thoughts and prayers are with you, I love you and wish all good things for you!!




I would love to post pictures from Christmas but as of now they are trapped on my memory card and it crashed so until I can retrieve them through a data recovery company or software program I have NONE! :(

BOOK NOW! Prices are going UP!!

The Clark Family

Tonight I had the pleasure of shooting some family pictures for our friends the Clarks' , it was so fun! Thanks guys! Oh and the pizza and ice cream after wasn't so bad either :) more here

Sleepy Shutterbug!

This past weekend was a whirlwind! Saturday I was up early so I could be on the road to Colorado Springs for a family photo shoot, then I headed to my in-laws to meet Jimmy and the kids followed by lunch at Noodles N Company and then headed to the foothills (far away) for my cousins wedding! Whew! Sunday was the girls Primary Program and me filling in for an absent nursery worker and then after church a few visits from people in the ward, some kids that wanted to rake our yard and making Alfredo sauce from scratch to go with the "Linner" (lunch/dinner). I then headed upstairs to upload the pictures off my memory cards but fell asleep at the keyboard, so I found a comfy spot on my bed and took a much needed rest, Awww!

Well I woke up and it was about bed time for the kids so Jimmy and I hung out and watched a movie and then because I wasn't tired I read some from my latest book and wrote some of the one I am working on and then sat to try looking at the pics again. Success. I have to share a little bit!





( I was not the main photog, my cousin just asked me to bring my camera along, he was the groom, oh and I don't usually do lots of the lens flare thing, but I kinda like it in this shot. My uncle Steve married them, it was a nice ceremony. )

The Stars Aligned!

This morning I had a family photo shoot and honestly the weather could not have been more perfect, nor the subjects!! Thanks Miriam,Ryan and girls for the great start to my day!! :)


oh and here are a few more

Don't Ask! Flashback Friday! I know it's not Friday anymore, just pretend!

In not so many words, it's been a long week and yet short at the same time! I am late on my post but who the crud cares, really??



This is my ALL time favorite studio picture of myself as a little kid, actually maybe of all time!! I think it captures me in my essence, happy! I mean how could you not love that face, no wonder my Mom kissed it all the time! :) I promise I have lots to post about and will do it soon!

Love to you

Mixed Emotions

I don't want this to become my complaining blog and I don't want to blog just to blog. I keep hoping I will have something of substance to offer and I don't know that I have much of that going on right now. So here is a little something that has been on my mind for quite some time and I need to just get it out.

I struggle, yes I struggle lots, mostly internally because I hate burdening others with things that are just momentarily hard or things that I might feel because I haven't had enough sleep! I would say that overall my difficulties are in trying to find where I fit in this world, I know I'm a wife/mother/daughter/sister blah blah blah, all the titles we take on either by being born or growing up. They are all important rolls and much of the time I am satisfied in them but then I have times when I want to get out there and try new things and explore the interests that I have in the creative fields!! I LOVE being creative, weather the medium be photography, sewing, singing, decorating, cooking or writing I love to express myself through these outlets! It gives me release and fulfillment at the same time, the hardest part about being creative is how subjective it is. One person might think you are the "most amazing" and someone else might think you should quit all together. As humans I think we look for approval in the things we work hard on, as in "Have the efforts I made today been noticed, and are they appreciated?"

I don't believe that my life's' mission is to be a famous singer/photographer/writer/seamstress/decorator, it would be fun, but I don't assume that just because I have interest in them that it means I will be the next HGTV star, American Idol, Paula Dean or Annie Leibovitz, but it would feel wonderful to feel like my talents or passions are effecting others in a positive way. I really want to serve others, I want my gifts to not just be mine, but to be instruments in helping those around me. I am not talking about joining the Peace Core or the Red Cross, while those are noble causes, I want to serve my friends, family, neighbors, anyone who might stand in need in the simplest form, giving of my time and talent. I am not a saint but rather a sinner trying to compensate for my mistakes with a little goodwill. It's a challenge being the creative type because there are soooo many that share the same interests and in a world of competition and cut throat business the little guy just out to enjoy themselves feels pressure to belong! I am that "little guy" trying to belong, let me share some examples.

I have had a deep interest in photography for many many years, I have always had a camera in my hands, they might not be the best cameras out there, but I have always had one or two near by. In high school I would take my little film camera and drive to the edge of town, climb up a mountain side and take pictures of the city below, broken glass, or sunsets, I would sit alone just thinking and taking pictures. I never had the money to buy expensive equipment or take classes to pursue something that was viewed as just a hobby. The same thing can be applied to all the things I enjoy investing my time in, but see this is where it gets complicated, when I look around it feels like EVERYONE and their Mother has the SAME exact interests and they have the time and money to just dive right in, taking classes, buying equipment, creating websites and the balls to advertise themselves as professionals, something I lack. That is where the debilitating self doubt seeps in, if there are so many others (for example) taking pictures I will NEVER stand out so why try?

I once had a wise friend say to me when I was really starting to explore more into the photography world, "There will always be someone with better equipment, more time, and more talent than you, but the main thing is to focus on developing your own style and taking good pictures." At the time I felt discouraged, like it was an uphill battle and then one day I realized that all I wanted to do was take pictures so I could show a little bit of my perspective, to the world through my lens.

I often offer my services for free just so I can be out there doing what I really enjoy doing, do I feel insecure at times, yes, but I just keep doing my thing. I guess I try to have the perspective that one day all these talents might come to good use for something and if I just sit on them and worry about not being good enough then what is the point in having them?? I don't think I will ever be the "Best" at anything, but why stop finding joy in sewing/photography/writing/singing/cooking!?? Again it's all subjective and there has to be at least one person out there that thinks I don't stink, even if that's me, I suppose!!