Been Wanting To

I have been wanting to update the old blog but it's been a little tricky, you see my sweet 3 year old removed ALL of the buttons from my laptop, the dear boy, and I haven't been able to recover them completely and some no longer push so well. So if you notice a missing 'F', a Comma the numbers 4 or 8 it's because pushing the little hole is a little bit of a pain. The other reason I haven't updated (if I am choosing to list my excuses, wait good idea I will list them)

Reasons I haven't blogged;
1. Missing buttons on keyboard
2. Been over the top sick with Pregnancy
3. I'm a sell out

Yes for those that haven't heard, I am a sell out, I tend to check in on the Book of Faces more these days instead of hopping from blog to blog, which at one point I enjoyed.

Oh the other little issue is this pregnancy is straight kicking my trash!! I have always said I was blessed to have had great pregnancies, I thought that by acknowledging the fact that I was blessed would protect me from said sickness while in the "family way". Apparently that tactic didn't work and this time around I have been sooooooo soooo sick, I mean morning to night nausea and on occasion sudden bouts of throwing up. I can't eat anything, well except for crackers, soup and Rice Chex cereal. I do have random times where something not easily attained will sound good and my fantastic husband has gone above and beyond, driving to places like Quiznos (there cheddar broccoli soup), Sonic (their cherry limeade and ice), Olive Garden (Minestrone soup) and Target many times for crackers and anything I can think of that I might be able to eat. Let me also say that we don't really live near anything, most places are a bit of a drive so his efforts to take care of me have been greatly appreciated. If I am in the mode of bragging let me list all the outstanding things he has done in the more than a month of time since I mostly been good for sitting on the couch and laying in bed.

Husbands Awesomeness;
1. Cleaning the house
2. Dishes
3. Laundry
4. Getting the kids to school
5. grocery shopping
6. Helping with kids homework
7. Bringing me a drink or snack
8. taking care of James during the day while working from home
9. Getting our kids to all their activities

I mean the list could go on but this gives a good example, he has turned into a full time caregiver and single parent. We live far from family and we hadn't told friends so it was all on him. He even still loves me after everything and he's sweet about helping me. I know that I am blessed to have a husband who works from home and has had the charity and love to take over all of my "normal" responsibilities without resenting me.

Things really took a nose dive when about a week and half ago I came down with a severe head cold which turned into a sinus infection, so not only am I
nauseated but I can't breathe and my head is riddled with headaches for days on end. And then our sweet 3 year old ended up in the hospital with pneumonia a few days ago, that night I managed to drag myself out of bed and be at the hospital with them while a friend stayed with the girls.

I have wondered how my husband is still standing after this many weeks of doing it all. He was already my hero but he has expanded on that notion and inspired me with his acts of selflessness and service. It's quite astonishing that he is the one doing all of these things and when I cry to him about feeling guilty for being sick or crying because I am sick he still stands in and comforts me.

The good that came from my ongoing sinus infection is that when we went to the quick care yesterday the doctor was kind enough to give me a prescription for anti-nausea medication on top of the other medications. I am really grateful for that and hope that once my sinuses clear I will be able to function better during the day relieving my honey of his posts.

I don't like to complain and I am not great at asking for help, so I feel mixed about sharing all of this because I know there are others in the world with greater hardships. That said I have to acknowledge the great man that I married, who has been a true captain in the midst of our family battle. He has kept the troops going and the fort hasn't fallen all because of his efforts and sacrifice.


(Jimmy cuddling with Buddy when he wasn't feeling so good.)


(Buddy receiving oxygen)




(Buddy waiting to have x-rays done)

I promise you don't want to see any pictures of me, but I can create a good mental one, right now I am laying in bed with my handicapped laptop, tissue shoved in my right nostril, with large gray sweat pants and a red shirt with no bra, no make up and I don't remember making it to the shower today.

Thank Heaven for Little Boys!

Today was a difficult day. I don't really know how to begin to say what I want to say. I am a little rusty, and overwhelmed with emotion, perhaps I will let my heart lead the way.

The months leading up to Christmas I was deeply struggling, I was admittedly lost and off course, and then I heard about a 5 year old little boy named Ayden in my ward who was suffering from cancer and was in the hospital. I asked my friends who had been organizing meals for his family while they stayed with him in the hospital, if I could prepare a meal for them also. I knew that I needed to get out of my own head and put myself in a posistion to serve, and yet I had no idea how it would change me.

The day came for me to make a meal and I was collecting the ingredients on my kitchen counter when my an amazingly in-tune friend called and asked me if I would like to go with her to take the meal to the family, (initially I was just going to drop it to her). I had never met them, and I was nervous, but I couldn't turn down the opportunity to deliver dinner myself. We quietly entered his room in a special wing of the Childrens Hospital, the lights were dimmed and his mother sat at the end of his bed playing cards with him. He didn't speak but his spirit nearly knocked me off my feet, this little boy lay there with tubes and was so uncomfortable and yet he was sweet and shy. My favorite moments were when his mother would be speaking of him and he would close his eyes and then peek to see if we were still there, almost as if he were thinking "They are talking about me again?" His sweet mother Amber amazed me, she told us how their wish was that he would be well enough to come home for Christmas so she could play Wii with him. We stayed for just a little while and then we headed home again, but the visit stayed with me, Ayden and Amber stayed with me.

A few days later Ayden regained strength enough to return home for Christmas and then on December 29, 2010 he passed away. I was in Las Vegas when I heard the news and I cried, thinking of his mother, father and baby sister and how they must miss him so much. I felt grateful to have had the opportunity to meet him. If this little boy and his family could be so brave and filled with faith in the midst of this terrible illness and ultimate loss, I knew I needed to pull myself together. Ayden was such an example to me, I know that taking that dinner helped ME more than it helped them, I am sure. Thank you sweet angel boy.

(Ayden)

Last evening I was able to spend some much needed time with my girlfriends, and as usual I was home after mid-night. Then first thing this morning I received a text from a friend requesting me to call her. My stomach sank a bit when she answered the phone with a saddened voice, saying "Have you heard?", "No." I said and then she told me that our dear friend Annie, whom had just been sitting next to me on the couch hours before had returned home to find her sweet 5 year old son Ethan was gone, she went to check on him and he had passed away. Ethan has had medical problems since he was tiny, but he was such a joy, his smile could melt my heart. I looked forward to seeing him every week at church because he just smiled all of the time, just like his mama. My heart is broken for them and I can only imagine the sorrow Annie and her husband Justin must be feeling. Oh sweet Ethan, I still can't believe that I won't see you in the halls at church, I think he was the most popular person in our ward because everyone loved him so.

(Ethan)

These two little boys have touched my life and I am positive all those that were blessed to have met them would say the same. They are missed and loved and all I have are my prayers and love to send to each of their families.

I have a fondness for little boys, and I thank Heaven for sending one to my home. They love their mamas like no other. I didn't fully appreciate why it's so hard for mothers to send them on Missions or to College or to get married until I had my little buddy. James will be 3 on Monday and I must say that the last 3 years have been some of the best in the Kelley house.

(James playing the harmonica first thing in the morning)

Thank Heaven for little boys.

New Skin!!

I am taking a mini break from editing to post. Recently James got some new digs and he LOVES them, he wears them all the time, as if he has found his new skin!

Oh and I got some fun new items as well

It's true. I love Football season, especially the Denver Broncos!! I have been a fan pretty much my whole life, I even had a poster of John Elway on my wall in the 4th Grade!!

Slacker Blogger!

Just call me Slacker! I totally deserve it for the fact that my blog has been left soooo alone in Bloggy Land! I could tell you that the reason is because all I do now days is work work work! My photography business is hoppin and so it takes up all my time, not just spare time, but ALL my time! I could also say that when I am not taking or editing pictures I am taking reprieve in some reading and time with my laundry and Scrubbing Bubbles, not to mention my husband and children!

However I am not going to tell you that instead I will say that I am still alive and breathing most days. Having a slight mid-life crisis? Still deciding on that one since I am not sure if you can have one at not yet 32!! I have lots to show and tell about some projects that have squeezed a little time out of me! So don't give up on me just yet! Now I have to go deal with the almost 12 year old and her parent teacher conferences!! Good times!

Oh and since my friend Rachel is much better at getting pictures on her blog than I am lately I stole these from her! Thanks Rach!! :)

from a fun day picking berries with Buddy!!

Another fun day out at the Zoo with my friends Rachel and Michelle! Thanks Rachel again for the stolen pics! I swear one day I will get my act together (probably not, but it's fun to hope)


OH AND GO VOTE FOR ME Don't tell them though! - Do Parents Really Know Best? | iVillage Parenthood Contest

Spiderman in THE HOUSE!!!

Having a little boy has brought so many new things into our house and lives! James is ALL "Boy", he loves dirt, swords, guns, cars, sports and comic book characters, especially a web flinging, wall scaling, red suit wearing Spider man!!! I MEAN HE REALLY LOVES HIM, in fact he thinks he IS him, no, really, he does! He tells me several times a day "I Pider man, mom", he thinks he can climb walls, mirrors, ceilings, and when he watches it he sings the theme song! A week or so ago we got him is very own Spider man action figure and for the following several hours he just kept repeating "Pider man, Pider man, Pider web, Pider man...." over and over and over as loud as he could! We LOVE our "Pider Man" and I am so glad he decided to stay with us!

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

The Reasons Why....

...I spend less time blogging
Less time editing pictures (sorry to those waiting)
More time laughing
More time happy
Less time alone
Less time sleeping
More time out of my mind
Less time knowing the answers
More time grateful
and More time being Me

Forgetting the Flash!!! Bad Parenting Moment #4762

There have been many moments of bad parenting, well, maybe not bad, just the "seriously you can't take your eye off of them for a moment", moment!

This afternoon James and I were out front putting a few flowers into our flower pots on the front porch, James was playing in the car with the windows down and listening to music while I was placing the flowers. I turned my back for 3 min, maybe, when I hear "Mom!, Me!" his way of saying "Mom look at me!" I turn around and this is what I find!!!!!!!




I could NOT believe my eyes! I mean he has been doing some "stuff" lately but this takes the cake!!! I had to grab my camera (that was in my purse in the front seat) and take a picture so Jimmy would believe me. Then I swiftly removed him from the roof of my van!! I HAVE NO IDEA how he managed to climb up there, let a lone so quick and without falling! Sheesh, I swear this boy is out to prove his monkeydom or something!!

And We Have Lift Off!!

WARNING!!!

If you are offended or nauseated by the discussion of breastfeeding, boobs or children then I suggest you stop reading now!!


OK. Now is a good time to stop!!



OK well if you are still reading then don't say I didn't warn you!!


I am a breastfeeding MAMA!! With all three of my kids I have been blessed with gallons and gallons of milk, somewhat like a cow only I am not black and white and I only Moo occasionally. That's besides the point, I have often said that I produce enough to feed a small nation and so I have nursed to my hearts content.

I have had different experiences with all my kids. Lexi and I both figured out the process rather quickly and it was a good thing because she WOULD NOT take bottles or pacifiers at all!! She might have starved had I not produced enough milk because anything but me was OUT OF THE QUESTION! I remember on a few occasions trying to get her to take formula because we were somewhere that I couldn't nurse and she screamed for like an hour before giving in and drinking a few ounces!! Since I was divorced when she was just 10 days old and I was only 20 I didn't have anyone else around me telling me how and when to ween her so I just nursed her until I no longer wanted to and until she was old enough to drink from a cup! She was about 15 months old.

Grace was my child that got the shaft when it came to nursing (You know now that I think about it maybe that's where her issues all started!!). When she was just under 9 months old my appendix burst and I ended up in the hospital for a week and she was not allowed to see me so that ended it right there! I remember being so sad because I hadn't been able to make the choice of when I was ready to stop. When I got home from the hospital she wouldn't even come to me for at least a week and at night she would have NOTHING to do with me for months after!! That was tough! Side note: I highly recommend having your appendix removed for precautionary purposes!!


James, oh James, my boob man! I know that someday I will have to apologize to his wife!!
James LOVED, LOVED, LOVED to nurse! While he was in the NICU I would go in every two hours to feed him once they removed the tubes and he was ALWAYS happy to have a little snack! Once we got home his love grew, he would just snuggle into me and get so happy at every meal! He was different than Lexi in that he would take or leave bottles, but he also was not interested in pacifiers! I tried weening him about 5 months ago when I went out of town for Women's Conf but the minute he saw me he laid down in my lap and began to grunt! It was also the weekend that Jimmy left for Colorado so I think we both needed the comforting! Anyway, ever since I have been very slowly trying to slow the tap, and finally last week I decided that I was gonna be strong and just do it!! I mean I will be honest and say that many aspects were nice for me too, I mean being able to go sit in the Mother's room at church when your are too ADD to pay attention in sacrament meeting can be nice!! It is also a nice feeling when your child wants you, and who can resist the cuddle of a sweet boy like James!! By this point though he was pretty much down to having a little at night and in the mornings, but man the first few nights were rough, as I would have to tell him "no more." as he laid in my lap looking at me like "c'mon lady don't be holding out on me!" But we made it and now he can go on to other things like school and his mission without needing breast milk to go to sleep!!
Isn't that the true definition of successful parenting??!!



Now for those thinking holy cow he is 19 months, yes, I am aware, but guess what? I wasn't asking you to nurse him, was I!?!?! So don't worry bout it! And at least I wasn't featured on the special about Extreme Parenting with women who nurse their 8 year olds. Oh and you can find the clips of it still on youtube if you think I am messing with you!!


Love to you

Flashback Friday! "Labor Day"

As I pondered about today's post I thought back to when James was born and what a unique experience my Labor and delivery was. Right after James was born I was so overwhelmed with a new baby in the house that I never got around to documenting the event and before I get too old and lose my memory and since it is "Labor" Day weekend I thought what the heck!!

James was born on January 24, 2008 at 4:21 AM after a very happy delivery! Since I had been 3 WEEKS overdue with Grace and still induced, I had discussed with my doctor very early on that I wouldn't be repeating that, so he agreed to induce me on my due date with James. I actually went in for my Doctors appointment on the 23rd so they could do one last check and to schedule the induction for the next day, well when Dr. Wells called the hospital they said to come in that night since they had several on the books already for the next day. I got very excited and called Jimmy telling him tonight was the night, it had seemed like it would never come and then all of a sudden, BAM, it was time!!

Headed for the Hospital

After dropping the kids off at my wonderful friend Lindsay's house for the night, Jimmy and I headed to the hospital. They checked us in around 11:30pm and got us all comfy in our room, we filled out our paper work, met our nurse and then the fun began!! They started me with pitocin around midnight, once I hit 4 or 5 cenemeters, I decided to take the offer of an epidural. I knew (from previous experience) that I would go fairly quick once that was administered so I had advised the nurses to be ready! Of course, as I am stupid and no one listens to me they had all disappeared except one, when 45 min later Jimmy went running through the hallways looking for someone, since I was now wanting to push!! Well, I lied, really I HAD to push, there was no choice, he was coming weather someone was there to catch or not!! The lone nurse came into the room saying that they had just checked me and I was only a 5, I told her to check again, which, hearing the threatening tone in my voice she did and the look on her face was priceless, as she says "Oh gosh, well I guess I will do this if I have to!" She began preparing the table as fast as she could and also calling Dr. Wells at the same time telling him to hurry up!!

The Lone Nurse

My regular nurse entered the room a few minutes later and was telling me to "just hang on for 10 or 15 minutes" I looked at her like she had just spoken in tongues, all while thinking "Yeah sure lady, I'll just cross my legs and hold him in, no problem!" I will say that at this point I began to panic a bit wondering if my doctor was going to make it in time, and then somehow he did! The moment he walked in the mood changed and suddenly I was on stage at the Comedy Shop, making jokes and laughing as if I wasn't just about to have a baby! Emily, my younger sister, and my Mom were also in the room as photographer and cheerleader, respectively!

In between pushes

The BEST Doctor on the Planet, Dr. Wells!!

The moment they were ready I was pushing and just a few minutes later, at 4:21AM, the 8 lbs. 1 .oz miracle whom we had been waiting on for at least 2 1/2 years had finally arrived! When they placed him in my arms I just wanted to stay there, freeze time, and savor his sweet face. His eyes connected with mine and I knew in that moment that we had met before, he was my little James, there was no doubt.







Later that morning as we were enjoying our new addition Jimmy was holding him and I was on the phone with a friend, when I looked at James and realized his face was going blue and he was not getting air. Jimmy handed him to me to see if I could help, I pushed the "Help" button, but when there was no response, Jimmy was again running down the hallway, but this time with James in his hands. This occurred twice more before they admitted him to the NICU for observation and tests, as a Mom I was terrified, wondering what was wrong with my baby.

As they stabilized him and he was resting peacefully they allowed us to come in to see him, my heart broke when I saw his little body all hooked up to machines with tubes in his nose. I stood next to him putting my pointer finger in his hand, he gripped it and then the tears just came, nothing else seemed to matter in that moment. My Dad arrived a little later to assist Jimmy in giving James a Priesthood blessing, they gave us special permission so that all three of us could be there with him. It was a special moment, seeing the two men I respect the most in my life laying their hands on my little boy's head to bless him was strengthening to my spirit.

While in the NICU, James, would undergo multiple tests, x-rays, and visits from specialists. They determined that he had just swallowed so much fluid during birth that his little body just couldn't eliminate it on it's own. I was so grateful that there wasn't anything more seriously wrong and after 3 days they allowed us to go home together!

The first few days home I was a nervous wreck at night, they had suggested in the hospital that we keep him nearby while he slept so we could closely monitor him. For me this meant very little sleep because I would wake up with any little noise he might make to check on him.

Even though the days following his birth were difficult, I still look back on the actual event as one of my favorites and feel blessed to have had such a terrific experience. Perhaps it was in part because it had been a difficult road to become pregnant with James in the first place, but all I know is that I will never forget how I felt in that room, as if all my angels were escorting him here to make sure he would be OK.

Just home from the Hospital

Old, New and A Little Disgusting!!

I have been trying to catch the kids on video here and there and here are just some of the clips I have gotten over the last few months! The first clip is from last night, the back story is that I saw James doing this weird hand motion and couldn't figure out what he was doing and then Jimmy so nicely showed me!! The next clip is after church one Sunday I came in the kitchen to find James on the kitchen table getting into some trouble! The third clip is when we went to McDonalds one evening and the kids were just being silly as usual! The last clip is, well it is self explanatory!! Oh and please disregard my terrible speaking voice eck!! :)

I know not all of you will care to watch the entire video but I know of at least one Grandma and Grandpa that will love to see what these kids have been up to since we left Vegas!

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Love to you

James Is 18 Months!

My little man is growing up! Today he is 18 months old, I was so busy working on the house that I didn't notice the date until tonight so I pulled out the camera to take a couple impromptu pictures of James! He is a sweet boy and his smile still melts me every time, he loves to laugh although at times it seems like he is trying to hold it in and he gets very serious! James loves people and is very friendly when we are out and about or at church. Here are some of the latest stats

14 Teeth with more coming
Loves the Nursery at Church!
Bed time is 7:30pm
Wakes up 8:00 am
Loves to sing and dance
Loves to play Ball (any kind)
Loves to follow his sisters around
Wants to wear everyones shoes but his
Thinks he is very funny (he is)
Is a Mama's boy
But can't wait till Daddy comes home!
Very easy going!
Loves to Go in the Car
Wears 12-18 month clothing
LOVES MONKEYS

Says:
Mama
Ball
Baa Baa (when he sees a sheep)
Daddy
No
Oh Wow!
Bunny
Monkey
Dog Dog
More
Moo (when he sees a cow)
Makes Great Car/truck sounds


Signs:
Please

Nods & Shakes his head for just about every question

I love being his Mom and I love watching him learn new things and I love that he is part of our family!!